Drive-In Movie Experience

Okay so I’m sure that many of you have heard of a drive-in movie theater and some have not. For those who don’t know what I am talking about, it’s a movie cinema where instead of sitting in a large room next to random strangers inside, you get to watch a movie on the big screen in the comfort of your own car, outside. Yes! This is still a thing and might I add, it’s the best movie experience there is. I mean, in my perspective it is.

As the season is finally here, where the drive-ins are finally opening their gates and letting everyone in, I’m counting down the days to my first visit. Watching everyone outside playing frisbee, having sand bag tosses, or just picnicking out on the ground, the moment you drive in there, it’s instant awesomeness. 

The best part of a drive-in is the popping up your trunk, laying the flatbed down, layering it with tons of blankets and pillows, and getting cuddled up right next to your date. With the nice warm summer air or crisp fall and spring breezes coming through, I have never felt more comfortable watching a movie. I have to admit, I may have fallen asleep here and there, but only because of the relaxed atmosphere. 

Unlike your traditional movie theater, where a small soda, popcorn, and box of candy runs you about $20, at the drive-in that $20 will get you two meals (drinks and candy included). My favorite drive-in is located in Vineland, Nj, called Delsea Drive-in. Actually it’s the only one I’ve been to, so there’s that. They always have two screens running with two to three movies playing. You don’t have to pay for parking just per person, which l believe the price is about $11. Still a lot cheaper than your regular ticket price. The concession stand is filled with different types of food from pizzas, burgers, hotdogs, and fries, to a huge variety of milkshakes, candy, and even gluten free products. 

The only downside about this is that the drive to get there is an hour long. Unfortunately, drive-in movie theaters are very rare; however, I have been seeing a lot more people going every year. Hopefully with its ever increasing popularity it makes the biggest comeback. Maybe one day I’ll be able to open one up closer to home. I actually heard of another one in Lehighton, Pa called the Mahoning Drive-In that I will be checking out this summer. I’m actually really excited because they are hosting a VHS classic horror weekend and you can actually stay overnight! I mean how amazing is that? If you have not experienced a drive-in yet, do so! I promise, you would not regret it one bit. 


Stay Motivated!

Have you ever been motivated? Motivated to get back in to shape, save up for a house, or go back to school to earn that degree you’ve always wanted? If so, what was that source of motivation? Was it something you saw on tv? Was it something you read in a magazine? Or was it a simple conversation with a friend that just gave you that AHA! moment? I can tell you one thing, it wasn’t any of those things. Sure they may have been the reason a cord struck you to have that moment of serendipity, but in all actuality, all that was was a simple pawn placed in front of you by the universe. 
Throughout life we have moments of realization that come to us at the most unexpected times. Great things, and I do not mean that they always present itself in the purest of forms. There are times when we are met with difficulties, only for us to realize the possibility of a positive outcome. For example, you’ve longed for a car for the longest time, but never had the money to buy one, so you hitch a ride to work in a carpool. One day you dont make it to work because the driver decided that they weren’t car pooling anymore. You call your job to let them know what happened, and the affect of not showing up was terms for dismissal. Now, you feel like the world is crashing down on you, no job, no car, no way to pay your bills. You begin to panic and immediately your mind goes in to survival mode, so the very next day, you hop on the bus and go from company to company filling out applications for a new job position. In a few weeks you get a call back from a job that is not only willing to pay you more than your last but to give you a company car to get to and from work. You see, not everything the universe puts in your path is meant to be golden. Difficult roads are put in your path to test your limits, to see how hard you are willing to fight to keep up with the power of what is meant for you. At times it may seem as the universe is against you, but I assure you, it isn’t. You are against it. It’s only merely guiding you in the direction you are meant to be on. Stay positive, stay focused, and keep going. Eventually all roads lead to somewhere. 

We Are Not What Society Makes Us; We Are What We Choose To Become 

We are not what society makes us; we are what we choose to become. Too often do people blame their lifestyle on society and their upbringing. To some those are valid reasons, but to others it is not. I’m not here to judge or belittle anyone who chooses a path that leads to destruction, because I too once followed that path. I know what it’s like to wake up every morning feeling the same dread and depression that kept me up for hours on end the night before, or in bed for days at a time. I know what it’s like to feel alone, abandoned, sheltered, unwanted, unloved. My teenage years to my twenties wasn’t always great, but it was filled with many experiences that shaped me in to the woman I am today. From drug use to alcoholism, overdosing and suicide attempts, you name it, I’ve done it. 

What lead me to such a dark path though? Was it the society I was being brought up in? Or was it horrific past experiences that lead me in to a deep depression. Was it the fact that I felt as if I had no control over my life or the fact that I had too much control, but absolutely no guidance. It’s no mystery that I began to blame everyone and everything for the things that I did not seem fit for my life. My rebellious ways causing so much pain and destruction not only to the ones that I love that tried their hardest to help me, but most importantly to myself. 

It was only when I had the most horrific experience of my life, that I woke the hell up. Feeling my body go limp, my heart slowing down, my mind just giving up, wasn’t what terrified me the most; it was the faces I saw in my friends and loved ones faces. It was my mothers cry when she saw me in the hospital thinking that she was going to lose her first born, her daughter. The brokenness and the hurt that clouded her eyes. It was then I knew I had fucked up. It was then I knew that I had to change. 

Many of my friends and family to this day think of me as some hippie or weirdo because of the path I decided to choose to a greater more understanding and promising life. I did not choose God, nor will I ever, for my own personal beliefs. I chose Spirituality, the understanding of good and evil, the understanding of balance, the understanding that I have a higher power within myself. Only I can become great by understanding what it is inside of me. Understanding that I can emit a love so deep and so pure, but still have the courage to not take anyone’s shit or to reject anything that is not good for my soul. Just to make things clear before I continue writing, this is not my way of forcing others to give up on what they believe in. I respect people’s religion as I would expect them to respect my beliefs. We all have something we believe so truly in that guides us in the right path; whether it’s Spirituality, Buddhism, Muslim, Christianity, etc. How can I be someone who wants to be respected for what I believe in, if I do not respect in others beliefs? 

Moving forward. After having come to the greatest realization of my life, I decided to take back control. I no longer wanted to be another statistic or slave to society. From then on forward I did a lot of soul searching. That included, cutting ties with anyone or anything that brought me down, changing my eating habits to better my bodies ability to heal from the damage I had done, spending time in nature, allowing myself to accept the love that I had been rejecting and emitting the love in return, solitude, enjoying the things I once loved, and foremost, forgiveness. I no longer wanted to be someone who blamed everything that was going wrong around me on to anything and everything else. Yes to this day I am still on this journey to a greater consciousness, because in my opinion, we never stop growing, and we never stop learning. Forgiving myself was the hardest thing to do, but when I did, I had a greater understanding of what it was to be human. The knowledge to know that no one else, but I, gets to choose the path that I live. I was given two options; live a path that destroyed me and everyone I love or embrace in a journey that allowed me to feel again, take back control of my happiness, and make some kind of imprint on the world around me no matter how small. We all have these options and it is up to make a decision. 

Horror Movie Fanatic? 

What is it about horror movies that capture the hearts of so many people? Is it the intense anticipation of waiting for something or someone to pop out at the screen, or is it the dreading feeling that, although it is just a movie, it becomes real in our minds. From serial killers, to werewolves, to vampires, paranormal entities, and evil dolls, our amygdala (area in our brain that governs our senses and yes I googled that) is set on a fight or flight mode; cowering us into safety under a blanket or behind our hands. With our hearts racing, palms sweating, senses heightened, we crave more. At least I know I do. 
I remember be as young as four years old when I watched my first horror movie by Stephen King called IT. Man did it leave a good number on me. For years up until my mid twenties I was terrified of clowns. It wasn’t soon after I had watched that movie, that my mother, whom I love dearly, decided to dress me as you guessed it, a damn clown. I’ll never forget looking in the mirror and realizing what it was she dressed me as and having a complete freak out. It’s not every day that your four year old self transforms to the one thing you fear the most. I cried, I kicked, I screamed, cried some more, then eventually succumbed to the realization, that I was now the perfect replica of the monster from the movie I was so afraid of.
As time passed by and I grew older my love for horror movies grew as well. Classic films from Night Of The Living Dead to Child’s Play, Trick-R-Treat to Paranormal Activity, filled my mental movie collection. There is just something about horror movies that no matter how terribly produced, the dire stories that were being told or untold in some instances, more than made up for it. We can often sit back with a bag of popcorn and a can of soda watching the most recent love story with the lights off, but where’s the fun in that? Bring on the gore, guts, monsters, ghosts, and serial killers that could be waiting for me in the bathroom, or sneaking up on me during one of the most gruesome, heart racing, bone chilling scenes! 

Here’s a list of my top 15 favorite horror films:

  1. Trick-R-Treat
  2. Sweeney Todd
  3. Jeepers Creepers
  4. IT
  5. Childs Play 
  6. Children Of The Corn
  7. Pet Cemetary 
  8. Paranormal Activity
  9. As Above So Below
  10. Nightmare On Elm Street
  11. Poltergeist 
  12. Halloween
  13. Night Of The Living Dead
  14. The Silence of The Lambs
  15. Cannibal Holocaust 

Becoming 30

Yes, it is that time, and as the days creep nearer and nearer, I feel as if my body is being crushed by this overwhelming feeling of dread. What am I talking about? My thirtieth birthday. I always knew that eventually one day I will be thirty. Heck, I’ve even tried preparing for it since I turned twenty-five. Early morning workouts, endless nights at the gym, different diet plans, you know, just doing pretty much anything and everything to make myself as healthy as possible. Yet, here I am, on the brink of what I guess I would consider, my midlife crisis. 
As I was looking in the mirror this morning while getting ready for work, the person who was reflecting back to me, was someone I no longer recognized. The few gray hairs, smile lines, crows feet, dark circles and bags beneath my eyes, have aged my once perfect youth like face. My smile, less authentic as the years pass me by, my hands aging with every wrinkle that forms as the time progresses. The ache in my knees when I take my first few steps in the morning, or the constant random aches and pains throughout my body.  All of these signs and symptoms of an aging body, has left me fearful of what has yet to come. However, if you thought my physical being was my midlife crisis, think again.
More than anything, my desire to become successful, has become such a vehement expression of impatience, that I often do too much too soon, only to end up losing myself once again. Having tried the college scene, failing two semesters, getting put on academic probation and finally giving up by eventually dropping out, has completely thrown my life in a whirlwind. After waking up one morning and walking to the bursars office to tell them I was dropping out that day, I knew I had made one of the biggest decisions in my life that I will soon come to regret. Boy was I right, because here I am. Struggling everyday to figure out what it is I still want to do with my life while being stuck at a dead end job that rips and tears my soul to shreds everyday. So what is it that I want to do? What do I want to become when I “grow up?” That question in my opinion will always be open-ended. You see, I’m not the type of woman who wants to settle with just one career; however, it’s what I need to do. My dreams in life are to be a published author, a personal trainer, and to own my own damn coffee shop, all the while traveling around the world and becoming a mother and perfect wife. I mean, how hard could that be right? Wrong. I’ve tried to stick to one thing at a time, but the one thing that I keep going back to is writing, which I should have stayed in college for, but decided that drinking, getting high and partying was much more important at the time. I mean, isn’t that what your twenties are for? Trial and error?  My life has been nothing but one big conundrum. One big pile of what ifs or what nots. Now, it’s one month and fourteen days until my birthday and I am still sitting around, trying to figure out what the hell it is exactly that I want, and as I continue to write this piece, it all becomes clearer. 
What I want is to just be happy. Not with a career, but with life. It has taken me a while to accept that I could be stuck at this dead end job for the rest of my life, but as long as I continue to do what I love, writing, I will be happy. What I want is to be able to enjoy the things in life most people take for granted, such as, clean water, fresh air, walking on the earth barefoot and practicing love, peace, empathy, genuinity, compassion. It’s taking the good with the bad. Accepting that sometimes shit just doesn’t work out the way you want it to. It’s realizing the shitty ways of society and not falling victim. It’s understanding that your truest self is your most genuine self. If you do not like something speak up. Life is too short to be anything but who you really are. Becoming thirty isn’t what I thought it was going to be. It hasn’t brought me to a point in life where I thought I should be. No. It has brought me to a point and time in the universe of where I needed to be. With that being said, although it may seem as if I don’t have much to others, to me, I have everything. I have a good paying job, regardless if it is not my “dream job.”  I have a roof over my head that I could proudly call my own, I have amazing relationships all around, I’m closer to my family than I have ever been in years, and I have a much deeper sense of understanding of myself and the universe around me. Thirty isn’t about growing up. It’s about showing up. It’s about learning from your past and not allowing yourself to repeat the same mistakes again. It’s about embracing the future and what it has to bring. It’s about accepting the present and allowing yourself to indulge in what it has to offer. It’s about looking in the mirror and not saying, “I’m growing old,” but looking in the morror and saying to yourself, “I’m growing wiser.”

Staying The Course

There are so many attributions and complicated emotions on staying the course.  “What do you mean?” you might ask. That’s simple. Have you ever wanted to do something or wanted something so badly, that the thought of how long or how hard it may take to receive whatever it is you wanted or wanted to do, just discourages you, possibly knocking you right off track. Yeah. Been there, done that. Might I also add, it is not a very pleasant feeling. 
We often want things out of life that in our reality may seem impossible. Whether it be because of the lack of moral support from your friends or loved ones, a lack of finances, or just lack of motivation. For instance, let me give you a small example of a situation I was going through. 
For years I have been house hopping, never having any stability in my life. I would live with friends, family members, and even in some situations in my car along the river in my hometown. With a crappy paying job, no idea where I wanted to be in life, no moral or financial support, I struggled to what one might call “growing up.” Now, I knew that life was going to be hard, but man oh man, no one ever told me that it was going to be this hard. I guess we are never really prepared. My twenties were a real eye opener. With several years of many failures, came a magnitude of growth. Now, being almost 30, I can look back and say that although I haven’t made it, I sure have come a long way because I stayed my course. It only took one night of a complete mental breakdown to say, “Enough is enough. I’m done with this shit.” I kid you not, those were my exact words. 
From that point forward, I wrote a list of short term goals and long term goals. One of my short term goals was to do better at work so that I could get the raise I deserved. Another was finding a part-time position that would allow me to bring in extra cash so that I could finally begin to save for my own apartment. Things however were not always easy. Being the only female coater at my job, I get looked down upon often. I’ve been harassed mentally, emotionally, and at one point physically when a male employee decided to push me. Needless to say, this being a mans place of work, nothing was ever done regardless of the many complaints I have filed. Yes, I am still here, working, but only because this job position is the means to receive income for the things I need and want at the moment. Staying on topic, eventually I continued to work harder than most and getting the raise I deserved. This was a huge accomplishment on my end. I was also able to find two part time positions that allowed me to save extra money on the side. Finally, I was able to afford an apartment on my own. Well, not really on my own, but with my roommate, also known as my little brother. Once I had enough money saved I was able to move myself out of the small 8×9 room I was renting out for $450 per month and my brother out of my mothers. This would not have been possible if I did not, I’ll say it again, stay the course. The sense of accomplishment that I have achieved overwhelms me to this very day. Now, to you or someone else it may not be much, but to me, finally being on my own, having my own things, having my own privacy and knowing I worked my ass off to achieve it, is kind of a huge deal. So when you feel as if you are ready to give up and had enough, just take a look at this list I made up for myself and now sharing with you: 

  • Decide that enough is enough
  • Set short and long term goals
  • Make a list of what needs to be done to achieve those goals
  • Work hard because in the end it will pay off
  • Do not allow yourself to be discourage and if you do read over your goals again and imagine yourself achieving them. One of the best motivations is reminding yourself that feeling you get when you think of yourself having the things you want. 
  • People suck. They will try to bring you down. Allow them to think what they want. In the end, they are irrelevant. 
  • Never stop making short term goals. Believe me when I say it, short term goals give you the boost you need to continue working towards those long term goals.
  • Try to stay positive. 
  • Last but not least STAY THE COURSE

We were all thrown in to this world without a handbook or a guide to life. Hell, most of us are just “winging it.” I know I am. However, along the way, I have learned when you really want something, there is no stopping the level of determination you have inside of you to get it. The only thing that stops us is US. 

My First Blog Ever

It’s amazing you know. How one can love to write, but never find the words to express the chaos that runs within them. I’ve never been much of a blogger. In fact, I wasn’t quite sure on how to even begin. So as I sit here at work, bored out of my mind, I quickly googled, “how to start a blog,” and sure enough here I am on WordPress, creating my first blog masterpiece. Or at least it would seem so to me. 

I’ve always been a creative person. I remember being as young as six years old writing pieces of poetry. In middle school I began to write short stories. Now, my soon to be 30 year old adult self, has written and completed two children’s books, a poetry book and have half of a horror novel completed. It has taken me years to do something with my writing, especially with the children’s books, because let’s face it, you have to know somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody, to even be given the chance to become a published Author. That’s not even the beginning! If trying to get published wasn’t hard enough, finding an illustrator is even harder. I mean, there’s so many people who want to help you out with illustrations, but when it comes down to it, they never seem to commit and end up falling through. Although frustrating, I feel this is the beauty of a struggling artist. No, I do not have a single trace of an artistic hand, but give me a pen or pencil and a piece of paper and I could write for hours and days on end at a time. 

With so many ideas running through this never ending speed cycling brain of mine, I hope to enrich, encourage, amuse, and nourish many readers with what I would like to call, “Snippets of a Wanderlust.” I say this only because many topics that I would absolutely love to talk about, fall in to completely different categories. One day I could be talking about the beauty of nature, while the next I could be talking about the cutest little coffee shop I had the privilege of experiencing on the way to Pennhurst Asylum for a night of frightening and shit scaring, for a completely different blog. You see. There’s nothing I’m not afraid to write about. I’m interested in anything and everything this fragile world has to offer me. I only hope to have you experience it with me.